How to Stay True to Who You Are

You were born to the right parents, the right siblings, in the right place at exactly the right time. There is no one like you, and never will be again. You have an entire world inside you that you can share with others - a world and a perspective that can change peoples' lives. Whether you do this consciously or unconsciously, it is happening every time you have an interaction with someone.

It is up to you to become aware of what your gifts truly are. When you move from a place of certainty in who you are, there is nothing you can't do. The trick is to take a good look at your values & beliefs, to examine the actions you take every single day - and to see if anything is out of alignment.

We hear these things all the time - so why is it that we fall off the wagon, "forget", or just let go of practices that make us happy, balanced and fulfilled? 

I received these beautiful reminders at the Tony Robbins event I attended last week. As I've been to this particular event before the entire weekend was a reminder that I am the one in charge of my own life. I decide how successful I'm going to be in everything that I do.

I, for one, am getting really tired of the EGO mind that continues to tell me I can't do things. I know that I am absolutely capable of greatness - and there are so many people out there who have things to teach me.

Here is something that I say to myself before I teach: (feel free to steal it, or to create your own!)

I open myself today to become a channel for the energy of the Universe. Please allow this energy to come through me - Please allow me to be a messenger of the Universe, and to deliver to whomever I meet today exactly what the Universe has been trying to tell them. Please help me to put my own baggage aside so that these messages can come through me with clarity & love.

Coming Soon: Yoga Your Way - Click for MORE!

Namaste & Love, Nicole

Cultivating an Inner Sanctuary

When I think of a sanctuary, I imagine a large, open space with massive stone pillars, and billowing white curtains separating the space. I imagine the intoxicating scent of lilies, jasmine & magnolia flowers. I can see still gazing pools with lily pads floating on the surface. There is a beautiful swimming pool, and a few hot tubs scattered here & there. There are tables filled with artistically arranged food, and the purest water in crystal goblets. There is soft, angelic music playing in the background. I can receive Reiki, massage, sound treatments, or any other kind of bodywork imaginable - any time I wish. 

This is my inner sanctuary.

http://energyartistjulia.bigcartel.com/

You can have one, too, if you can dream one up. 

When I teach restorative yoga, I think of each moment in the class as cultivating this inner sanctuary. What would make you feel ultimately relaxed, comforted and take care of? If I come around during the class, what is it that you need from me? A gentle adjustment, a blanket to better support you in a pose, or simply a loving hand held to your forehead? 

How can I help you take care of yourself?

My mission in these very special classes is to guide you into a loving experience - but ultimately the experience is up to you. The only thing we can truly "own" is direct experience. The tricky part is that your thoughts, emotions and sometimes past experiences, can begin to change the way you view direct experience. 

I love teaching Restorative Yoga above all other forms of yoga, because it is truly about You. You become responsible for how much you are able to relax and release into the experience. You are responsible for ensuring that you feel physically comfortable during the class. And you are also responsible for your own inner sanctuary ... Using your breath to support the poses, focusing on releasing anything that no longer serves you. 

This language can sound strange for a long time .. but when you hear your yoga teacher repeating it enough times, you begin to try putting them into practice. And suddenly one day you find yourself at ease ... with everything. 

Yoga occasionally brings us profound moments of true silence, deep inner peace, and freedom. But in order to get there, we must practice. You can practice at home - even just for 5 minutes at a time - even just 10 deep belly breaths, or 3 Uujayi breaths, or a few Cat/Cows. 

And when you come to class, your body knows what's happening, and those openings are waiting to be experienced. 

Cultivate an Inner Sanctuary every day, by giving yourself moments of space and breath. Your body will thank you. Your mind will thank you. 

Here's to Inner Peace!

Love Nicole

Nicole Aracki is a yoga teacher in Kamloops, BC, Canada. Guiding You to the Light Within.
www.nicolearacki.com 
https://www.facebook.com/nicoleatmanyoga/# 

On Teaching Yoga

Last night a friend requested that I write about a day in the life of a yoga teacher ... all the ups, and all the downs of being in this profession of mine. I am pleased and excited that B requested I write on this subject, as it is an excellent opportunity for me to reflect on this role of "Yoga Teacher". 

For so long, this was what I wanted: To teach yoga full time and to immerse myself in leading classes for others. I feel privileged and honoured to guide people into their practice, and to offer unique ways to change perspectives on the practice and on the personal journey of the self. 

It is inevitable that I, too, would receive an education as I was so busy with teaching that I suffered with stress and a feeling of "no time" for me. The busiest week I had was 13 classes in one week - and to me, this was an enormous jump from a year ago when I was teaching only 3 classes per week! 

I love teaching yoga, and what I noticed when I began to teach so many classes was that the inspiration didn't run out. I feel constantly inspired by many things - my own personal practice, the way students react to what I'm offering, and the intuitive guidance that I receive is finely tuned now. In fact, I feel more inspired the more I teach! 

But what I also noticed is that if I don't take the time to clear my energy field after teaching a class, I begin to feel very heavy and tired in my own energy and I feel the need to hole myself up at home when I'm not teaching. There have been times when I hoped that I wouldn't see anyone I knew, simply because I didn't want them to see me in this strange state. 

When my schedule went over the tipping point, I felt exhausted, and had very little energy to do the things I normally do to take care of myself, like running. I didn't have much in me for the kids or my husband either, and honestly I knew that something would have to change. It wasn't worth it to do so much of something that I love, if it wasn't causing me peace, love and joy.

When I teach yoga, I open myself up to receive messages from my Guides & Gurus (who's names I don't know, and faces I've never seen). But I also open myself up to receive messages and guidance from the students in the class as well. If I'm not careful, I find that sometimes I pick up physical ailments in my own body - almost like catching a cold. I have to be proactive in taking care of Me first so that I have a strong energetic system that can fight off the energetic clinging of others.

How do I take care of myself? I believe that everybody has a "formula" for personal success, and for me it starts with self-care:

1) Daily Meditation - I practice for 30 minutes every morning as soon as I wake up. Sometimes it's breathwork, sometimes it's simple breath-focused meditation, and sometimes gentle yoga

2) Running - I try to run every other day, except when I'm training - which leads to my next component ...

3) Goalsetting - I sit down and set goals once a month! A few past goals: *feed my family with yoga $  ... *50 km Runs ... * Working at a certain studio 

4) Time Alone in Nature - I need time to go inward, to practice ceremony, and to fill myself up again with the energy of the Earth

5) Eating whole, healthy foods. Drinking lots of water. 

I recently let go of quite a few of the classes I was teaching, and I suddenly have time to focus on my self-care routines again. It is making such a difference already. I have the time and energy to run regularly again, I am able to enjoy my kids and my man again, and I am finding the time to reflect and slow down. 

As I head off to another Tony Robbins event, I feel myself buzzing with potential .. and I am SO excited to begin sharing MORE love MORE joy MORE connection and MORE peace with you all!! I have many exciting plans coming up in 2017, and I believe that all of my dreams will come true! Stay tuned in to all that is happening with me ~ Perhaps there will be a way in which I can serve you in the future.

Merry meet, merry part and merry meet again my friends!

Love Nicole 

Cows, Abundance & Letting Go

The other day I was out running and happened upon a rather large group ... of rather large Cows. They ran across the trail, seemingly out of my way, but as I began to pass by them, they all turned toward me and started charging! It was freaky, and a bit hilarious at the same time ... I haven't run that fast in quite a while!

At first, I thought that I must have been doing something wrong in order for them to chase me like that, as I don't even eat meat! I am their friend, aren't I? I began to wonder what it could mean to have such an obvious sign placed in my path like that. These occurrences, especially when animals are bringing you a message, are never by accident. They always mean something.


I began to actually research the symbolism of the Cow. She does come to symbolize abundance, fertility and the Mother. When I remembered what the Cow means to Hindus, I realized that Abundance is actually chasing me down! What better omen than to have 20 cows charging at you? 


"In Hinduism, the cow is a symbol of wealth, strength, abundance, selfless giving and a full Earthly life." - Wikipedia


I knew I had hit on the truth of the message because of the feeling it brought me ... A sense of rising energy within me, a powerful surging of purpose and meaning. A feeling of connection and elation with a touch of bliss.


My purpose and my vision through the last few months has been to touch as many peoples' lives with love and joy as I can possibly reach. My intention has been to give more than I get. To offer the very best that I can to each person I meet. And while I'm teaching yoga - I always ask that the Universe work its' magic through me so that my students can receive the offerings/messages/guidance that the Universe is trying to convey to them. I always ask that I be a clear channel so that the energy can move through me freely, and out to the desired recipient.


The trick to this surrendering of spirit and body is that I also surrender the results to the Universe. It is the process of giving someone a gift, but they will never know it was you, and you will never know how it affected them.


I don't know for sure what kind of abundance will come my way, and I don't pretend to be able to predict the future for myself. All I know for sure is that this situation reminded me that I am connected to this Earth, I am a part of it, and I relate to all beings that thrive on it. I am not separate from those creatures, even if they scare me - even if they seem like something that could take my life. If they come to me to convey messages - how separate can they actually be from me? What kind of power draws together a group of 20 cows, and me?


I am not separate from you either, dear reader. Even if we haven't spoken in months, and even if we've never met.


What if you treated everyone you encountered today as if they were a part of you - as if they were you? How would you treat the people around you? Would you treat them any differently than you do now? Something to ponder ....


Have the most lovely day ~ Namaste, Nicole

Finding Dharma

After months of waiting, the wave has finally broken! We will finally be moving to Kamloops at the end of next month!!!


These last few months have tested my patience greatly, and caused stress in my life - something that I continuously work to avoid. But all suffering is necessary and almost always leads to some conclusions.


For me, this waiting period led me to some pretty massive emotional breakthroughs. It pushed me up against the most fearful parts of myself - the parts that are terrified of rejection, need to feel a sense of security to survive, and of the lady in me who's incredibly scared to let her kids down in any way.


I was also forced to face my feelings of inadequacy, my confidence, and the driving force in my life. Which I figured out is a great desire for independence, freedom and space, in whatever I am doing.


I realized through this that the work we do on ourselves is never done, and this is something that I've heard successful people say. But I never thought I would get there in my own mind to actually see it. There is always going to be another challenge that comes up in our lives - it's how we approach it that will determine whether we look at our outcomes as successes or failures. For instance, as I come out of this dark period of winter, I look at the thoughts that I've been able to get under control, and at the formidable way that I have gone above and beyond in order to work towards my goals.


Diving into these deep-seated emotional issues is not easy work. But you're the only one who can do this work on yourself. Don't turn away from the things that frighten you, but rather go towards them with curiosity, love and acceptance. No healer, shaman or witch could perform on you the transformations that are required in order to excel in your life. You are your own Shaman. You are the guardian of your own heart. You are your own light, and when you are able to remove the stuck emotional baggage, your vision will be clear and free. It is in these moments of clarity that you will see your own personal truth, and at this pivotal point, you will have the power to live out your purpose. Your Dharma.


Sincerely and With Love,
Nicole

Receive Your Lessons Well

Do you ever feel like you're learning the same lessons over and over? It seems that there can be many aspects to those BIG life lessons that repeat themselves (just in case you missed anything the first time around).


For me, I learn over and over that things don't usually happen when you WANT them to, but rather when it's meant for you. And I have found, and am finding, that this is unequivocally true. It seems as though the Universe sometimes says to me "Now, now, Nicole, try not to rush this ...".


Oh, the wisdom of childhood - my Mom always used to tell me to hurry up! Maybe little Nicole knew what she was doing ...


Having moved to a new place and all, I was feeling some difficulties in finding a sense of belonging. It is really hard to move somewhere where you don't know a soul! And I seem to forget that people need time to get to know me and to trust me. So I get a little impatient. Come on people - I am totally amazing, super fun, nice, gentle and very accepting!


I admit, I was starting to feel pretty frustrated about many aspects of my life - living situation, town, driving, and even work! I had one day where I felt like complete sh*t ... I was down in the dumps about all of it, and beginning to wonder if we had made a mistake leaving that comfortable Comfort Zone. I even went to bed feeling pretty down on myself.


Lo and behold, the following day, I woke up and made extra time to meditate, do yoga and to just get refocused. I went for a run in the snowy hills. I played with my dog. And I slowly began to think that everything was going to work out. The day after that, the good news started to pour in - and it wasn't just one piece of good news - it was one after another after another!


The clouds seem to be parting, and the ice slowly cracking across the frozen lakes of my internal winter, and I am finding my way home through my heart. And I realize that the way home is always through the heart - the route never changed, it was just something I had forgotten. But the Universe rewarded me with this flood of good news because I made myself ready for the goodness to come. Without being in that primed state, the news might not have come to me as clearly, or have had the impact that it did.


I think it's pretty human to not quite understand the messages we receive throughout our lifetimes. It is all part of the process to be young, impulsive, and to think we can force things to happen in our lives. But our higher selves always know what's best for us, what we need at any given time, and how to frame situations so that lessons can be learned. When you receive the gift of an epiphany about your life, it is a huge high that catapults us into the next level of our being.


My wish for you is that you receive your lessons well, for the highest good of everyone, everywhere.


Namaste ~ Nicole

Hope and Faith

There have been times, during these last few months, when I felt like all I had to my name was my faith. I have practiced gratitude, sent out love, and visualized the things I want each and every day for the last 5 months. I did not falter on this practice, even when I was incredibly stressed out, exhausted and feeling flat. I continued, even though we have been sleeping on a mattress on the floor, even though our kids have been sharing a room, even though the cat is dying one day, and defying me the next.


I kept on going.


There is a light at the end of the tunnel ... it means I still have a little ways to go for my visualizations to become real, but it means that Hope has joined with Faith. {It's a little too soon to tell, but there is a very real possibility that our situation will be adjusted sometime in the beginning of the new year ... }


You have to keep wishing for what you want, and planning on what you'll do once it finally arrives. Sometimes things don't happen as quickly as you would like them to, but it's because the Universe always has a massive action plan that serves the highest good of all involved. Sometimes, like my accident scene story, there are many people involved. Like the woman I met from Merritt who I will be helping to facilitate "Heart Circles", the miniature show horse I gave Reiki to, the woman who got into the accident, the one hundred or so people who were delayed in getting to Kamloops. For each person who was "inconvenienced" by this accident, there was a specific reason that it happened to them. Some needed to learn patience, some were held back in order to be placed in another person's path, some needed to see what it felt like to hit black ice and not be able to stop ... and on and on the lessons go.


My point is that even with this light at the end of the tunnel, I feel completely exhausted. This period of time in my life has been one of the most challenging, and as I write that, I can strangely see that it's not even close to some of the other challenges I have faced. The only difference is the way the stress has physically manifested itself in my body. But this too, shall soon pass, and there will be a new challenge awaiting me on the horizon.


All I truly want is to make some big memories with my family, like going to Disneyland, taking them on a trip to Europe, and dipping our toes in some oceans. For myself, I want to experience the joy of delivering Yoga classes to people in the most connected and genuine way that I can. I also yearn to get my 1000 hours of teaching experience so that I can help to train other yoga teachers! I will help people who are dying with the beautiful lessons I learned from my Mom. I will nurture my marriage and always honour my husband's personal destiny by giving him the freedom to express himself. We learned a few years ago that the gift of freedom is the gift of joy.


Sometimes life can be a struggle, and you feel like you are trying to swim against the flow, and honestly this is what growth feels like. It is uncomfortable to be reborn! But in order to grow, this is what we must endure if we ever want to finally use those bigger shoes we have been saving. Thich Nhat Hahn wrote that when we live in the past, we live with the ghosts of our former selves, as we are dying every moment. We are not the same as we were from the beginning of this blog post to now. Growing takes time, and it takes longer when we have to drag around baggage from the past, and so it is best to let it go a little at a time.


How I managed to get to the place I am in now is simply a matter of hard work, dedication, practice, faith, love and lots of gratitude. Pushing out of my comfort zone was rooted in all of these practices for me, and I always had those certainties to draw from. I have more travelling to do, in so many ways, but if I continue to trust and accept the process of growing, there is absolutely no limit to what I can do.


And if I can do it my friends, You Can Too.


Namaste,
Nicole

Why Every Run is a Good Run!

Deception Pass 2014 

I have been thinking and stewing about my post "When Every Run is Sh*tty ..."and realized what a negative spin I put on something that is truly just about one's perspective. I would like to redeem myself with this post!

A close friend of mine has a saying that "Every run is a good run" ... and when I told her about my blog post  "When Every Run is Sh*tty..." she reminded me of her philosophy. This friend of mine is a running genius, and has taught me so much about the joy of running, that I am choosing to honour her with this more positive take on the subject of running.

There is always a lesson tucked away in every single day that we walk on this big, colourful planet of ours. A hidden gem in the muck and in the joys of the day. In each moment lies the choice of how you will respond, what you will say, how you will feel.

In running, these choices are much more prominent, and much more obvious. When you run, you can run away from things ... or you can run towards things ... The choice is yours. The approach is entirely up to you. Every run is a chance to challenge your beliefs about yourself, and perhaps that's how I have transformed myself completely since I started running.

Tenderfoot Boogie 2011
 

Every difficult run will make you stronger because you will have gotten through it. The trick is to give yourself the credit for making it through adversity and to celebrate the victory of giving something your best effort. It's the satisfaction of a job well done. We all deserve that feeling!

Every run is a good run because you are Out There, you run free and wild and it is Real. You are experiencing life on a different scale. It is a moving meditation, which makes it extremely challenging at times to find the silence inside. But when you do feel the vast nature of the mind ... you feel as if you are floating through the trail. You feel supported, you feel larger than your body, you feel absolutely connected.

But it is a choice.

I have slowly changed my attitude during my runs, but it has been difficult at times to shut down the self-defeating thoughts that have been popping up. Persistence & consistency are my friends. These two qualities are what have kept me running when times have been tough. It is not always the most gifted athlete who "wins" in the end - no, it is the athlete who kept showing up, for every practice, with the right fuel in her body, the right dialogue in her mind, and the stubborn resistance to quitting!

As for my actual runs, things are slowly improving ... I have run for two weeks consistently, and I'm slowly beginning to feel the power rising up again! I'm being more mindful about meals, focusing on eating lots of fruits & veggies, beans & grains ... and trying to "work in" at least one superfood each day (hemp seeds, coconut oil, Udo's oil, etc). My theory is to have a tablespoon of one superfood a day! (I can do that!) I have also started taking magnesium again, as it helped me greatly when I was taking it before. I woke up this morning before my alarm went off, refreshed and smiling! (yay!)

Why is Every Run a Good Run? Because it was my conscious choice to lace up and run across the dirt of this beautiful planet. It is my way of honouring myself, this body, these lungs. I do it for the love.

Letting Go ...

Most people have a tendency to try and control situations in their lives. Sometimes we experiment with trying to control people, pets, the weather, traffic, and line-ups. We all walk around with a moral code that we believe others should be aware of, and should adhere to accordingly. When people, pets, traffic, etc. do not behave in the way we want them to, it creates in us a feeling of uncertainty, rigidness and fear. And what can come out of this place, if we cannot keep such beliefs in check, are things that are not in the flow of a happy and balanced life.

It is not our fault that we slip into these patterns so easily, of course. The mind is an admirable opponent that is constantly coming up with new ways in which to create your reality. Your job is to work on harnessing this most amazing power of the mind in order to actually serve you in your life. Think about what kind of world we could live in if everybody everywhere were making an effort to use the power of the mind for good! It would be fabulous ...

But I might be getting ahead of myself AND my mind might be trying to control others again ...

No, we must begin with our own selves, of course, because all you can actually control in this life are your own actions. I am always working on my own formula for success, and I find that I must wake up each day and meditate. Sometimes it feels extremely challenging to sit still and to quiet the mind, but I am learning that a "scattered" meditation is actually productive too. It serves as a place where I can vent, emotionally and mentally. If I can just acknowledge my tensions, emotions and thoughts, it seems to diffuse them quite a bit.

There is no right way to meditate. There is only your way - the way that works for you, and this is where you can actually begin to harness this powerful mind of yours, because meditation does require a strong and stubborn will. It requires a drive from within to keep coming back to the breath, to remain focused on a mantra, to breathe into physical sensations. Sometimes you have to ignore that your back or hips are sore from sitting. And sometimes you have a breakthrough that allows you to actually surrender to the moment. Sometimes meditation is everything you thought it would be, and you may feel a deep and vast connection to something bigger than yourself. Sometimes you actually tap into a sense of peace and bliss.

Often we do not feel these beautiful experiences until much later, because the lessons take some time to be fully absorbed into our consciousness.

All of this is okay. Sitting for meditation each and every day gives a person the opportunity to see the patterns of thought that circulate in our minds. These habitual thoughts will shy away from the spotlight once they are caught, because once you recognize the trouble they are causing, it simply will not be worth it to hang onto them. You will have the ability to Let Go ....

And when you start with your own self and begin the art of letting go, the traffic, the weather, other people, pets and line-ups seem a whole lot less important and you can let go of that stuff too ...

Sincerely,
Nicole Aracki

Moments Between _ and _

There is a seeker in me that has always been there. I have great desire to go out and explore my world, both the world within my great mind, and the world around me - the one I create with every breath. I perhaps sound like a narcissist. But if being a narcissist means that I am fighting my way through my baggage, my promises (both kept and unkept), and navigating my fears and loves ... then being a narcissist is who I will proudly be. For all we truly have in this world is free will, faith and love. All other things are merely by-products. I want to soar and glide and dive-bomb my way into, around and through my short life here on Earth. I want to defy the limits and parameters that I confine myself to. Though I have found that those limits and parameters merely get forced out a little further each time they are challenged, they have not yet disappeared for me. Perhaps that is what death is for. Perhaps the purpose of the time between life and death is merely an opportunity for growth - an opportunity to finally allow the boundaries to disappear.

Live as you wish to die.

How do I wish to die? Which lessons do I want to take from this life to review when I am in my final moments? Will I feel any shame at the things I held back from in my life? Will I regret anything when I am nearer to the end? What waits for me on the other side of my current limitations?

And why on earth have I been holding back?

Circles

Fulfilled Circle

 

Truly, a circle is always complete, but perhaps can never actually be fulfilled. Because even though a circle is complete, it is also never-ending, and so it must be ever-changing.

 

The revolutions of the circle will always continue, over and over and over, with every cycle giving us an opportunity to begin again.

 

Water, Water Everywhere and Not a Drop to Drink

Water always takes the path of least resistance. So much like our brains will do under stressful situations - If you're used to living your life in a state of panic and anxiety, that is what you will likely cling to when shit hits the fan. However if you make the choice to get your brain into a relaxed state more often, you will have created grooves in your life that you can automatically slip into. We each know what helps us to feel relaxed on a daily basis, but it is often the thing that can save us from stress that we consistently move to the bottom of the list. Why would a person choose to suffer in this way? One could take about five minutes per day to simply breathe, meditate or stretch. That five minute investment could save your sanity in a stressful situation. When you know how to access that state of relaxation, you are free to make choices to react in a more neutral way to the crazy surprises in life. Knowing how to stay relaxed won't stop things from cropping up in your life, but rather will help you to lessen the effects that stress can have on a person.

I know all of this firsthand because of the crazy thing that happened on the way to a restful sleep ...


Night before last, my husband and I were just tucking into bed for the night when we heard a very strange sound. We went into our ensuite bathroom, and the sound was coming from the bathtub drain - it sounded like a rushing stream! We went into the crawlspace to discover some water all along one side of the foundation, leading to a drain in the floor. We freaked out a little. Or at least - I did!

We are truly not Do-It-Yourselfers. Some people have these capabilities, but we are so not those people. I would like to be, believe me, but when it comes to doing projects around the house my talents lie in the kitchen ~ See my website for more on that: http://nicolearacki.com/?p=635 ~ - mainly in the area around my KitchenAid mixer and the oven. So you can imagine how much I was freaking out that there was something out of the ordinary in the crawlspace at 11:00 at night. Anyhow, we discovered that there is a drain in the center of the crawlspace where a tube from the hot water tank goes - for overflow issues I guess?! Well, this drain when we lifted it revealed rushing water beneath the house. I guess this is pretty common, and it makes sense to me now that I think about it. At the time I was feeling pretty uneasy about this water under the foundation of the house - yikes!

Well, we checked around the perimeter walls looking for leaks or cracks or holes, and started to assess the situation. There was no current to the water on the floor, so that was a good thing. And it looked like the path of water led right to that handy drain in the floor. Also a good thing. So then, of course, we had to go outside to see ... what we could see ... at 11:00 at night! Well, there is standing water all over the place right now because we are having a very strange January melt around here! My husband tried to set up the sump pump, but the ground was frozen and the water wasn't deep enough to make the sump pump start working. We did what we could, but both agreed that we should probably just go to bed, and re-assess in the morning. Of course, morning meant Monday, which meant he was heading back to work.

Thank goodness I'm a "Cariboo Woman" now. Next day, I looked at that crazy sump pump and knew we weren't going to be friends. So I walked away from it. I looked under the deck to find a big puddle that had a current coming from the other side of the fence. So smartypants Nicole went to the other side to discover The Problem. The neighbor behind us had dug out the snow & ice from his ditch so the water wouldn't get trapped and cause flooding in his property. He dug pretty far - about twenty feet along the ditch. However he couldn't do my ditch too - I mean, it's nice to be neighbourly, but he shouldn't do my work for me! Well, the water came up against some firmly packed snow and ice, and took the path of least resistance - under the fence, beneath the deck and under my house of course!

So I dug and dug and dug the snow out of the ditch, which is really hard work you know! I pretended that I was digging for treasure, which totally made me feel better, and made me feel much more enthusiastic about it. I got to the culvert and the water was just sitting there, stubborn and unmoving. So I phoned Public Works. By the time I got home from teaching yoga and picking up kids, they had come with a digger and guys who are used to digging. They cleaned out the culverts and fixed it right up! I will still have work to do, I'm sure, but at least the water is going where it's supposed to go.

Maybe we are going to get better at the DIY thing. I suppose that the experience of the Surprise House Projects are what get people motivated to improve their homes and properties ... I know that my husband and I are already plotting our game plan to prevent future problems with the Spring Melt.

Brave Enough to Want to Know

The last two days have been incredibly busy. Meetings have kept me away from home during the dinner hour, which is normally something that would throw me off quite a bit. But somehow, I managed to keep myself feeling balanced and calm. It really was by just taking the day one event at a time, rather than constantly pulling myself out of the moment and into the next. I actually stayed present! It is definitely easier said than done some days, when we live such busy lives. And there is often pressure that if we are not actively proving how busy we are, we might not be able to use that to our advantage later on. Our egos play a huge part in making sure that we are distracted from the basic truths in life. The last thing that Ego wants is for you to start finding contentment. Ego tries to build up as many stories about itself in order to keep you sedated from discovering the potent truths of the Universe. Ego needs to feel relevant. Why are we built this way? I mean, perhaps that's all life is about is fighting off these stories, these built-up, imaginary demons of our inner lives. Why would you allow the Ego of yours to take over the natural state of peace that we are all born to have? This deep sense of connectedness is strangely present all the time., yet we allow ourselves to be so distracted by the drama, the money, the clothes ...

When I was younger, I always loved for things to be dramatic. I yearned for the staleness to come to life, to rise up from out of nowhere and to bring me up with it. I was quite depressed in my early twenties, and incredibly clueless about a lot of things. I had absolutely no direction, and would literally wander the streets wondering if anything was going to happen to me anytime soon. I think that when I graduated from high school I actually believed that someone was just going to come knocking on my door to take me away to Toronto, or California, or New York ... that they would offer me a ton of money to just get on a stage and be an actor. I gave up on all my dreams fairly quickly, but that was for so many reasons. I was looking for instant gratification. Which is why I stayed in my hometown, working at the donut shop and staying up late making poor choices. I see now that I had not set any goals at all for myself - I had NO real expectations, hopes or dreams. I didn't aim for anything for fear of failing miserably.

I ended up having an emotional meltdown, and had to take time off of work to reassess what was going on with me. My poor mother, she was probably just terribly worried about me. Shortly after this meltdown, I had gotten the idea in my mind to meditate. I began meditating every night before bed, and I started to feel different really quickly. Soon after that, I discovered Wicca. I began getting outside more often, getting in tune with the energies of the earth, and celebrating the seasons. I found a few like-minded souls to do circles with, and we found a beautiful spot beside the river to have a permanent circle. We visited this place a few times a week, performing ritual, talking about life, and enjoying the place. Nature was a soothing ointment to my problems, and I began to feel a healing taking place. Wicca gave me a sense of my own power to manifest things in my life. As a young adult I misused this power, but learned fairly quickly to use it only for my own inner work. It truly was a beautiful time, and I have never quite figured out what even led me to Wicca, but I do know that this connection to Nature never went away.

We are always building a foundation for the next phase of our lives, but there are times when the next phase doesn't manifest for many many years. This is why it is so important to keep bring yourself into the present moment, because you are always setting a precedent for the next thing. Ultimately, you are getting wiser with each and every phase of your life, and that is the goal, isn't it? To feel great about yourself and all your accomplishments is deeply important, and should never be underestimated, however it is ultimately about how you get there, and if you have the ability to relax into the moment and actually enjoy your life. It may sound cliché, but it truly is about the journey, and not the destination. There is no End to this. Yes, you will die at some point, and perhaps you view this as an End (which is your choice), but I see dying as another phase. And who's to say that there isn't another phase after death? How big does this picture get? And ... are you brave enough to want to know?