Tuesday, January 6, 2015

It's Better to Have Love

A huge percentage of girls in this world, when asked what they'd like to do for a living, have a tendency of saying "I want to help people". I know I said it in my twenties, but that was before I realized that I would have to put others first. For me, it took becoming a Mother to tap into the deep well of love and compassion. Of course, everybody is different, but that was my catalyst.

I love it that so many women have a deep longing to be a helping hand for others - it means that in our heart of hearts we just want to love and be loved, support and be supported, live and let live. I know that I personally have many women in my life who have loved and looked out for me. And I, in turn, reciprocate these wonderful gifts back to them. I feel that I tap into heaven on earth when I see myself being cradled in the arms of others, and when I am able to do the same for them.

In fact, when I look back on my life, I see so many times when I have been supported by a community of women who were doing what came most naturally to them. I take pride in knowing that I too have been able to give something back to this community.

In all places in the world, women are not asking if they can take care of each other, because there is a secret code of conduct that need not be mentioned. But the truth is, we all know what to do for each other. We all know what we should be doing for each other. Of course, it doesn't always turn out how it's supposed to; when the code is broken in any way the bond is broken. Broken friendships are much more painful than broken romantic relationships. That's because we give our female friends our heart on a platter. We completely expose ourselves by letting them in on every secret, every weakness, every tendency. We pour our hearts out to each other, and when we recognize these tendencies and memories in the other, our bonds become absolutely cemented. There is a deep and knowing trust that passes between very close girlfriends that is everlasting.

And is it worth it to expose ourselves to potential hurt? Of Course it is! I would never take back the confiding, the listening, the comforting, or the understanding that I have exchanged between friends. Even the friendships that ended. I have absolutely no regrets about any of the bonds forged, because they led me to where I am today. I learned how to be a woman from other women - I learned how to be selfless, how to have compassion, how to truly give of myself, and how to let go of preconceived notions about other women. I have learned how to open my heart. I know, too, that I have helped others. I am so grateful for the things I've learned along the way, and you can never feel bad about opening your heart to another person, no matter how it all came out in the end.

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" - Alfred Lord Tennyson

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