Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Emotions and Memories

It always comes back to how you feel inside of your own body, mind and spirit. There is something so unforgettable about the kinds of memories that involved all three of these aspects of ourselves. When each part of these ethereal bodies are passing the time by communicating strongly with each other, you know that you have found a sweet spot in your life.

I have many memories that tie in all three of these aspects, but I would like to share the most profound with you today - the life-changers:

1 ~ When I received my Reiki training in the late 1990's. I was recovering from ... my teen years that were steeped in avoidance and denial ... from the transition: highschool to a full time job ... late nights every night ... becoming a woman ...

Sometimes the Universe sets up a perfect storm for us so that when we are lying flat on our backs in the dark, and we finally open our eyes we are looking UP towards the light.

When I received my Reiki training, I was instantly cradled by strangers - mostly women, and a handful of deeply nurturing men. I wept and I cried and I released all the pressure that was built up inside, all the wretched angst of teenhood, all the ways in which I thought I wasn't good enough. I left it on the table, and my angels mopped it up.

2 ~ After I had my second child, I suffered from some pretty nasty anxiety. I had found a friend, a fellow mom, to collaborate with in our healing journeys. We practiced tons of energy work together, held circles to release our struggles, ate delicious food and celebrated evenings while the children slept. There were many beautiful experiences, visions and emotional releases that we shared. It was a special and transformative time, albeit a difficult time.

3 ~ When I travelled to Mexico for my yoga teacher training. I was 33 (double digit years are always amazing). The kids were still quite little, and I couldn't believe that the Universe had opened up this opportunity for me to travel to Mexico to become a yoga teacher ~ It was absolutely amazing. I learned a technique there on how to allow myself to truly acknowledge the emotions that I was feeling. It was the final piece of the puzzle that allowed me to finally let go of the crippling anxiety I had been feeling.

I cried a million tears in those 16 days. I truly felt myself being cleansed by those tears. All the people who were there with me - we all cried together, we supported one another and I will feel forever forged to the memories I have from that time.

Sometimes I find it difficult to remember exactly what it was like before I did this emotional work for myself. But I suppose it is better to be forgetful - this way you are not giving the emotional junk a "story", because the Ego thrives off of stories ... When you ask "why am I feeling this way", rather than allowing yourself to feel it completely, you create a resistance, a stumbling block on your way, a place to pause and conjure up a story about why you are this way. From there the Ego becomes free to create a way in which to stagnate your growth even more by delaying you from actually feeling uncomfortable.

When you simply allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, you open up to the opportunity to release the feeling. It is certainly not the easiest path, because it can feel messy and out of control. It can feel like you're not being strong, that you don't have time to be down and out for even an hour, let alone a week or longer.

Sometimes you aren't given a choice as to whether or not you feel ready to let the emotions go ... sometimes it is just your time, and there is not a thing you can do to stop the tears from falling.

Let yourself feel it. It is so much easier.

Peace and love to you from me ~ Nicole

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