I realized yesterday when I looked at the calendar that it has been a YEAR since we moved away from Quesnel. I find myself reflecting on how it felt to pack up all the things in our home, and how I didn't have any idea what I would encounter in the next days/weeks and months to come.
And of course, had I known how crazy my life would become in the following 6 months, I might have thought about the move in a little more detail. I might not have even left the threshold of our lovely home in Q-town ...
But what fun would that have been?
I have been pushed out of my comfort zone more often than I would have liked in the last year. Driving the Coquihalla Highway through the winter 4 nights a week to get my daughter to her competitive gymnastics sessions ... living in a tiny old house in Merritt where the kids shared a cold bedroom ... in a less-than-desirable neighborhood ... where the kids went to school with underprivileged children ... and in a small town where I just couldn't find a sense of connection ...
And also where I grew into bigger shoes simply because there was no other choice. Because I was "forced" to.
It would have been so easy to stay comfortable in Quesnel, dreaming of a life that I likely would not have been able to attain without pushing through the discomfort. I simply must say here that I don't regret a thing. Even though some of the memories of the last year of my life are "unpleasant", I continue to remind myself that this was all By Choice. So many people go through life having things happen TO them, rather than Making Things Happen. And I don't think either way is better or worse. I simply believe now that I would rather engineer my life so that I can manifest exactly what I want!
Through all this difficulty, my husband and I manifested many things ...
* We are now living in a beautiful home that has a running trail right in the backyard
* I am now working almost full time as a yoga teacher
* We are finally taking the kids to Disneyland!
* I will be presenting a workshop at the Interior Wellness Conference
* We live in the Okanagan!
There are so many other little things that have happened, and there are too many to list here.
The point of my story is this:
Sometimes life gets hard, and things begin to happen to you that you feel (in the moment) that you cannot bear. But yet, from somewhere deep within you there is this wellspring of strength that you are able to draw from. A vast and unlimited supply of energy that nourishes you *just enough* so that you can take one more step, so that you can take in the next breath of air, so that you can live out another day in an upright position.
When you purposefully push through the limitations you have placed on yourself, you say to the Universe - YES! YES! I can handle MORE peace, more love , more joy, more excitement and more satisfaction!
Sometimes in life we want someone to tell us what to do in order to get to that place - but I tell you this here - YOU are the one in control, and truly are the only one who can answer these questions. Deep within your own self, you know exactly what you need to to in order to feel happy and alive ... and satisfied.
Life is never really going to feel easy. And it's not supposed to. The point of all of it is to immerse yourself in experiences. Don't take second-hand knowledge and make decisions about how you're going to "be" in this world -
Live your own life, and gather up your experiences ...
Make mistakes and learn your lessons ...
Be hard on yourself, and then forgive yourself ...
If you feel stagnant, unsatisfied or unhappy in any way - make some decisions about how you really want to feel in each day. Life is too short to constantly wait for something to happen.
I send you Peace, Love and Joy ~ Namaste, Nicole
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