Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Tricky Emotions to Shake

As many of you know, I had some pretty nasty anxiety issues a few years back. At the time, I would have given absolutely anything to rid myself of the suffocating sensations, and I did try many different techniques to shake it. Nothing seemed to work. I received spiritual healings almost weekly from a friend, I meditated, did breathing exercises, started exercising. Truly there was no quick fix to this debilitating condition, and the thought of taking medication never crossed my mind.

What I came to realize, after thinking a lot about faith and forgiveness this week, is that you must make a daily practice for yourself in order to sort through these tricky emotions. With my anxiety, I was able to eventually find a technique and daily routine that helped me work through this difficult time. It was also my circumstances that challenged me - two toddlers at home! Tricky, tricky time.

As I have been thinking about forgiveness this week, I realized that there are people and situations that I have been holding inside myself in a tight little ball, unwilling to let go of the pain of circumstances that caused them. I realize that in order to thrive in my life, and to be able to offer the very best that I can, I must release this pain in the spirit of forgiveness. I have done many rituals over the years to practice forgiveness, but I realized this morning that I must make this a daily practice in order for it to really work. I read something that said *"people do not have to ask you for forgiveness, it is something that you can do silently, close to your chest, and they don't even have to know." I absolutely love this perspective, because it means that I don't have to painstakingly make contact with people who are no longer in my life. I can love them for what they gave me in my life over the years. I can release the hurts and pay attention only to the joy and love and contribution they made to the person I am today. What a liberating thought!

So for today, I am working on forgiving and letting go of the past. I am working on healing the wounded parts of my spirit by making space for love where there was once pain. For years now I have aimed to live my life with love, peace and joy, and I have so enjoyed this beautiful direction in my life. With a daily practice of forgiving the past, I feel that I can be liberated energetically to channel even more energy into the life I have always wanted. And THAT, my friends, is Pivotal!

I realized as well that you can forgive people right in the moment as well. When my child takes his frustrations out on me by shouting or stomping up the stairs, I can forgive. When the person on the highway cuts me off in traffic, I can forgive. When I smile at someone and it is not returned, I can forgive. Every day I will release feelings of guilt, anger, disappointment, fear and sadness. I will offer love in the place of these destructive feelings, and I will do it again tomorrow if I have to. I forgive.

*The Traveler's Gift - by Andy Andrews

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