I realized today, while I was out running in the muddy gumbo of Spring, that I seem to only write about running when I am feeling strong. I used to write about the hard times in all aspects of my life, when most things in my life felt difficult. Now it seems that I only write when I am feeling like I'm on top of the world, and am looking to talk about my progress or how I hit my goals.
Today, I give you the other side of the story ...
Today, I will tell you how hard running has been for me lately, and why I will continue to subject myself to the torture! Lately, it seems as though every run I set out on is like pulling teeth. I don't seem to look forward to my runs as much as I did when I was in the middle of training for Deception Pass. But I suppose it is to be expected, since I'm not looking towards an event, and therefore feel less accountable if I happen to have a lack of consistency in my running schedule.
I allow myself to stop at the top of the hills, because I am freaking tired, and my legs feel like someone dipped my shoes in concrete. I go at a slower pace than I would normally go, simply because I do not have the drive or the focus that would typically fuel the fire! I keep telling myself to be patient, because the reality is that during my last training schedule most of my runs were extremely challenging, and I had to work very hard to use my mind to bypass the messages my body was giving me. But for some reason, hindsight is making it seem like it was easier "then".
The truth is, I know that I just need to stay consistent, and that this is the kind of time that will make me stronger in the big picture. The trick is this: If you have lots of difficult runs, and you make it through them, then you are able to look back with the knowledge that you conquered the challenge. It takes work to face up to challenges over and over again, but it will pay off because I have learned how to push through. I don't know how long this bout of tough running will last, but I do know it won't last forever because it's not the first time it's happened!