Yesterday I went into something and I was not completely prepared. The other person involved was not completely prepared either. I noticed something about that .. I saw a mirror image of myself approaching things in a seemingly half-hearted way. It seemed as though this person was not interested enough in what we were doing to get organized ahead of time - and I have done that so many times, under the guise of going with the flow or with following my intuition. I see so clearly now that going into things unprepared sends a message that you aren't fully invested in what's happening. This is a huge revelation for me! I talk a lot to others about how to manifest things in life, and here I have been making a very casual and forgivable mistake. People let me off the hook all the time for being high energy, a yoga teacher, or for just being scattered. But should I be letting myself off the hook so easily? It doesn't seem right, now that I'm looking at it.
There are always a few minutes in a day to jot down a few of my thoughts. I'm constantly brainstorming new ideas, thoughts and changing perspectives, but I'm not often planning out my yoga classes to their full potential. Certainly, there is a lot to be said for receiving intuitive guidance in a class, but there really is no excuse to give less than I am able to give. A well-planned class can give me the backbone I need to set people up for a peak pose, and the intuitive guidance will naturally flow, as it always does.
I can definitely do better than this. And I vow here and now, that I will be better at this. I didn't realize that my being unprepared could have an effect on my students. I see it now so clearly. I racked my brain trying to figure out why I felt so unsettled after this meeting that I had. The nagging feeling was the truth coming out.
I suppose if I really think about it, it's not just with yoga that I have been doing this. It could be that I truly have too much going on in my world right now, and I feel that I don't have enough time to get everything checked off the list. It's still not okay though. It messes with my integrity, and I have always been so proud of my ability to be organized, conscientious and on top of my game. A long time ago, in my former life, I worked as an administrative assistant. I learned, and thrived, in that office for five years. It was the best job I had ever had. Sometimes I miss being there, and I think about that time in my life an awful lot. It was a very formative time, and looking now, I am seeing that I thrived because I was organized!
As I get older, I really see my Virgo qualities coming out more and more ... For today, I hope to work more on being organized in all areas of my life. I hope that this simple change will bring some things together that I have been having trouble with! Thank you Universe, once again, for the potent lesson.