All meaningful changes take time to be realized. There is not much we can do to force change to occur, and some things in life actually become more difficult when we try to approach them this way. It's like handcuffs and quicksand - the more you struggle the more difficult it becomes. With both of these obstacles (handcuffs and quicksand) you most often cannot escape them without a helping hand. That togetherness of someone reaching out for help, and some other person eagerly responding, is one of the great secrets. There are some things that we could probably get through on our own, and there are some things in life that are simply too big to tackle solo.
When I think about the biggest events in my life, I can see a canvas that has been painted over many times. Nothing I have ever set out to do has ever ended up looking the way I thought it would. With all the adjustments and changes and upsets and realizations, the picture of my life is much different than the fantasies of my youth. When I was young I wanted to heal the world. It makes me smile to think of my younger self, and the naiveté and innocence she held in her heart. I like to believe there is still a large part of me that holds on to that innocence, or at least that faith in humanity that they want to be helped. The wise woman in me knows now to be patient, and how to protect myself from the disappointment of not being needed.
I have always been at peace with the idea of getting older. Gaining the wisdom that only years can provide is an enticement that I have always looked forward to receiving. What I did not realize was that this wisdom can sometimes be hard-won, and that even if my own personal life is filled with joy, I will inevitable witness other peoples' struggles. Oftentimes there is nothing I can do to help, because oftentimes people who are struggling do not want help. I find that one difficult.
It takes a lot of courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable in someone else's presence. But when you reach out to someone, you are giving them permission to do the same when they find themselves in need. The truth is that we need other people in our lives who will love us unconditionally, no matter how vulnerable we become, no matter how long we remain in this uncomfortable position. With a support network of loved ones, life is more filled with ease, simply because you have the knowledge that others are backing you up. The best way to earn someone's trust is to give them your trust first.
Dive in, be vulnerable, love one another, be brave, and Trust the Process.