After a long, Challenging winter of driving the Coquihalla up to 7 times a week (often twice in a day), of living in a tiny house where the kids share a bedroom, and the cat & the dog learned how to get along. After what seemed like a never-ending wait for a job offer my husband finally received. (In order to even apply for this job, my husband had to drive over the Connector to Kelowna for a job fair in the middle of winter - multiple times.)
There were so many times in this transition that I thought we had made a terrible mistake in leaving our comfort zone, our friends, family, and a huge circle of support. I wanted to quit and just move back "home" where I would know people walking down the street, where my smiles would be returned, where I would be loved and accepted.
But every damn day, my husband and I focused on the reasons we had for making this move, for stepping out of our comfort zones, for having a huge vision for our lives. We woke up on either side of the bed, and practiced gratitude together. We sent love out to everyone we know, and then to the world, the galaxy, and the Universe. AND we focused on goals. We both have lofty ones, and I honestly didn't know that I had such desires inside of me ... But these weren't "wishes" I was focusing on, these were goals. Goals require work. Personal work on the innerscape of my psyche and taking a good look at the imprints of beliefs that were overlaying everything I believe about myself. Not all of this is pretty, and I admit, I am will be untangling these beliefs for a while longer ...
Through all of this, I reached the threshold of what I thought was all I could bear, and I would realize that there was another hairpin corner up ahead - it just looked like the top for a moment. So I had to hang tough, to be strong and to stay focused on what I wanted. I had to be stubborn and to want this new life badly enough that I would just. keep. going. The same way I do in an Ultramarathon. You haven't had enough until your faculties are dull and your mind is fuzzy, and you're forgetting to drink water, and then you realize you only have 5 kilometres to go. Then the beast comes out. And she did come out in me.
We made a trip to our Quesnel house to grab the last few things we had inadvertently left behind (and ran out of gusto, leaving a trampoline and other things - I'm sorry new owners ...). Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things. And I'm not sure when I really felt myself letting go of my Quesnel life. On some level, I envy those blessed souls who are able to remain, because I never thought I would leave. I watched others leave, and thought "No, not me, I won't leave this amazing place". I had everything I needed, but I felt a call to my name that there was a part of my journey that would need me to step up, and step out.
I haven't taken my final bow out of Quesnel, because I have friends there, and I love the running trails. I also intend to keep teaching at Edgewood Farm during the summer, as well as co-host a retreat with Veronica again. But I can tell you that I have some Major plans for our new home in Kamloops. We move into our new home Easter weekend!!!
I will be taking bookings for visitors starting April 1st ;o)
Thank you for all your love & support along the way.