There are times in life when it is better not to look at the things that bother you. I'm not talking about avoidance, but rather self-preservation. If you cannot look at a situation without feeling anxiety, fear, jealousy or anger, sometimes it is better to shut the door on it than to force yourself to be okay. Because no one likes to be pressured to feel a certain way. It's like bullying yourself into submission. Why would a person want to be so unkind to themselves?
Sometimes being the bigger person means that you walk away from a fight, a confrontation or a conversation that is going nowhere. Sometimes, of course, it means you stay calm and talk about things - without giving in to those gut reactions that get a person into trouble. Some things you can't take back.
It took me a long time to stay and talk to people about what was bothering me. I used to get so upset about how I was feeling, and oftentimes could not even pinpoint what emotions I was feeling and why. My husband was incredibly patient with me in those first years, and honestly, he was the one who taught me how to communicate. Marriage teaches you an awful lot about communication. Amen to that!
I know now that I am a sensitive person. Strangely enough, that knowledge and awareness helps me to stay in control of my emotions, my ego mind, and my funny knee jerk reactions. I suppose acceptance is everything.
There are many spiritual texts that teach the same lessons about life. One of those Great Lessons is:
What does it mean to Know Thyself, and how can it help you? It means that you become the observer of your life, reactions, tendencies, habits, and most definitely your recurring thoughts. It means that you begin to harness the power of your gifts and talents, your social status and the opportunities that are irrefutably meant to be yours. It means that you pay attention to what situations keep recurring in your life and ask yourself if you ever learned the lesson in the first place. It means looking at the big picture of life, and figuring out where you fit in. What reactions have you caused in others? What lessons are you learning from people you don't particularly enjoy? And also, what is in those people you don't enjoy that reflects something in you?
Sometimes we despise the things we deeply recognize. And realize that perhaps we do know ourselves very well. That is what they call "Shadow Wisdom" ~ Those are the lessons you never forget.
The fluffy side of knowing yourself is the joy of Synchronicity ~ the experience of two or more events as meaningfully related, where they are unlikely to be causally related. The subject sees it as a meaningful coincidence, although the events need not be exactly simultaneous in time. (Wikipedia)
Synchronicity occurs when you know what you are looking for ... and that comes with the deep knowing of Oneself.